Turns out you don’t have to give out mortgages like candy and then blow all the proceeds on drugs and strippers to get your hands on part of the government’s $700 billion bailout package. Instead, put down the hooker and pick up a Chevy Volt.

As part of the Wall Street bailout package, $1 billion is set aside for discounts for hybrid cars with batteries rated at 4 kWh (kilowatt hours) or more. While the current Prius’ 1.3 kWh battery pack does not qualify, the 6 kWh Chevrolet Volt should qualify for the maximum $7,500 tax credit. See, sometimes the good people win (or at least get some of their own money back to buy a car.)

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