Okay, there comes a time in a person’s life when they need to put the keys down and take the bus around town. That usually happens sometime around the age of 70 or 80 years old. You know, your vision deteriorates, your hearing is not what it once was, your reaction times are slower, etc., so it’s just time to give it up.
Well, Ms. LiLo (Lindsay Lohan to those non-TMZ readers) is not yet out of her 20s and it’s time to get rid of those keys. Just weeks after famously crashing a rented Porsche 911, while forbidden to drive, she has yet again crashed. To boot, it is yet another Porsche. Okay, before we get all dramatic on you and say she mangled a test mule 918 hybrid, we’ll let you know that it was only a minor fender bender and the Porsche in question is just a Panamera and not a 911.
According to the report, Lohan barely nipped a Ford Mustang, putting a minor scratch on it. The Mustang driver was told that Lohan was being chased by the paparazzi and that’s how she hit him. Fortunately, the Mustang driver seems more proud of the scratch than his car, as he said he would use the scratch as a selling point, by saying "You see that scratch right there? Lindsay Lohan hit my car and didn’t total it!"
Still, she is forbidden to drive by her employer’s insurance company. You know, the employer that is likely paying her in excess of $100K per episode to be in a series about Elizabeth Taylor’s rocky life. In addition, where did this girl learn how to drive? She is in several accidents every year and they are almost always – or at least appear to be – her fault.
On behalf of all drivers on the road, we would like to request that Lindsay Lohan find her way to the closest bicycle store and purchase a nice 10-speed to get her around.