This week’s episode of Top Gear is probably the most disgusting episode we have ever seen. The guys were faced with the challenge of finding the best car for $500 and driving them 500 miles from Santa Monica to Twin Peaks in San Francisco. At first, we could only imagine just how crappy these cars were, then the Top Gear crew let us know.
In addition to the foul $500 car challenge, Ruttledge Wood was given the chance to review the scintillating Cadillac CTS-V in all three body styles: coupe, sedan, and wagon. The wagon was by far Rutt’s favorite and he was absolutely clear on that.
We were also treated to Maroon 5’s Adam Levine as he cruised around the Top gear test track in the show’s Suzuki SX4. His driving may not have been top notch, but he was extremely successful at cursing up a storm.
Hit the jump for details on Top Gear USA: Season 2 Episode 6.
This week’s big challenge didn’t start off too bad. The Top Gear USA trio had to go out and find the best car they could for a price of only $500. Ruttledge went the compact route and showed up with a Ford Festiva with over 227,000 miles, but it had a new engine so he thought he was in the clear. Tanner then showed up with a 1989 Mercedes 190E that just looked dreadful. Adam pulled up the rear with a 1994 Ford Crown Victoria that tacked on 425,000 miles during its time as a taxi.
The guys’ first challenge had them literally pushing their vehicles 100 yards to see who could get across the fastest. This challenge probably wasn’t exactly fair because Ruttledge clearly had the advantage with his extra "padding."
The first part of the driving challenge took the guys to Santa Barbara, California, but the trip didn’t start off too well for Tanner. His Mercedes wouldn’t start and after spending some time giving it gas, he was finally on his way. Since Adam and Rutt were driving well below the speed limit, Tanner was able to catch up fairly easy. Then he sped ahead and was able to win the first leg of the 500 mile trip.
When they got to Santa Barbara, the guys were faced with another mini challenge; they were all given hangers so they could try to break into each others cars. Technically, Tanner won by breaking into Rutt’s Ford, but Adam took a little shortcut by breaking Tanner’s window with a crowbar. Rutt was still fumbling with the Crown Vic at the end.
After the Break In Challenge, the guys went on the next leg of their trip, driving to Santa Cruz. This is the part of the challenge that gets completely unsanitary. The guys were given an envelope that let them know forensic analyses were done on their vehicles. The car with the most sanitary report won the challenge.
Rutt’s Ford Festiva was covered in dog hair which was apparent just by looking at it. What might not have been noticeable upon first glance was the high concentrations of ammonia and fructose consistent with urine and seminal fluid. Then there were traces of fecal matter. Yeah, that’s poop. Basically, Rutt’s vehicle was a bordello for dogs. Sick, but true.
Adam’s Crown Vic taxi was next. His car had hydrochloric acid in the footwells consistent with, well, vomit. Then his seating area was chock full of blood stains. In fact, one third of the seating area was covered in blood. Blood and vomit; not surprisingly considering this was a cab. We’re just surprised they didn’t find seminal fluid in his car.
Tanner’s Mercedes 190E, surprisingly, was also very foul. His steering wheel had moderate quantities of nasal mucosa and there was a protein-rich substance in the crevices of the driver seat cushion. His car also had high concentrations of dead skin cells and staphylococcus. Adam and Rutt joked that Tanner’s Mercedes had a staff infection. We’re sure Tanner didn’t think it was as funny. Luckily, he had wiped down the steering wheel when he first got into the car, but that didn’t mean that the guys didn’t want "boundary layers" when they got back in. Adam arrived back onto the scene with pink latex gloves and incense for the smell, Rutt showed up in what used to be an alligator pool float that he cut up and put on as a suit, and Tanner arrived in what was nothing short of a hazmat suit.
The last leg of the trip took them from Santa Cruz to Twin Peaks in San Francisco. It was rather uneventful until they got about four miles out of San Francisco and hit rush hour traffic. This only weakened their crappy cars that much more.
Once in San Francisco, Adam got a little visit from someone who thought he was an active duty taxi and Rutt’s Festiva stopped dead in its tracks when the clutch went out. Luckily, everyone knew where he was because his horn had also broke and incessantly beeped.
With Rutt out of the race, Tanner and Adam tried finishing the trip up to Twin Peaks. Heading up the hill, Tanner’s Mercedes finally stalled out, leaving Adam to finish the race first in his blood-soaked Crown Vic taxi.
Big Star Small Car
This week’s Big Star was American singer-songwriter and musician, Adam Levine. Levine is best known for being the front man and guitarist for Maroon 5. His driving wasn’t all that spectacular which was a little surprising. He did, however, curse up a storm during the whole lap which was absolutely not surprising.
A little back information on Levine. His first car was a 1971 Ford Mustang Mach 1, but he now owns an Aston Martin DB9 in which he has bee pulled over six times. Luckily for him, he has yet to receive an actual ticket. One cop even told him, "I should arrest you, but my wife is a big fan." Way to plug just how "fantastic" you are, Levine. Not impressed.
Either way, Levine clocked in a time of 1:49.2, which stuck him in between Pawn Star’s Rick Harrison and Chum Lee.
Car Review: Cadillac CTS-V
Ruttledge was hot to trot this week as he reviewed the Cadillac CTS-V in its three different body styles: coupe, sedan, and wagon. A self-professed lover of wagons, Rutt did not have enough to say about Cadillac’s new look. From a brand that was slowly dying off, Cadillac has boosted themselves right back onto the sales charts with their new CTS-V models. The CTS-V is supercharged with the Corvette ZR1’s 6.2L V8 engine thumping out 566 ponies. This engine is mated to a 5-speed manual transmission.
Rutt had some good things to say about the interior, but he also had some bad things to say. He loved that there was suede everywhere and leather stitching. He did not like the electronic door poppers or the same headliner as found in the Chevrolet truck. All in all, Rutt described the Cadillac CTS-V as an American badass wrapped in Hugo Boss or John Wayne in a Tommy Hilfiger sweater.
Adam Ferrara wasn’t buying the whole "Cadillac CTS-V is king" theory so Rutt decided to put it up against an Italian stallion: the Ferrari California. With a 0-60 mph sprint time of 3.8 seconds and a top speed of 193 mph, the Ferrari is a bit ahead of the Cadillac’s 0-60 mph time of 4.0 seconds and top speed of 175 mph. That, however, did not matter. The Cadillac CTS-V beat out the Ferrari making it "F-you fast" in comparison to the Ferrari being a "stupid fast" car.
The Cadillac wasn’t done, though. It’s next challenge was to take a trip around the Top Gear test track with the show’s anonymous driver, the Stig. The CTS-V Coupe clocked in a time of 1:27.4, but the big surprise was the CTS-V Wagon which pulled ahead of the Coupe with a time of 1:27.2. This put both Cadillacs ahead of cars like the Aston Martin V12 Vantage and the Lotus Evora.
Wrapping It Up
After watching this week’s episode, we can safely say that we would never climb into a taxi again, but we would definitely want a piece of the Cadillac CTS-V Wagon.
Make sure you check in with us next week as we move on to Season 2 Episode 7 of Top Gear USA. In the meantime, let us know what you think of this episode in the comments section below.