"The very rich are different from you and me," Fitzgerald once wrote. Let's hope so. Let's really hope so.

If you could capture and amplify the thoughts of most people upon seeing this Fiat,->ke30 the collective "What the Hell??" would be heard around the world. This year, Fiat arrives at what is probably the world's greatest and richest charity event. They do so with a one-off car destined for the auction->ke2845 block; the attendees will hopefully assist with checkbooks at the ready.

In the meantime, let's take a moment to step back and truly appreciate one work of art(?) that could truly stand to make a difference in the world -- especially to the lives of people who are very different from you and me.

Continue reading to learn more about the Fiat 500 "I Defend Gala 2015" One-Off Edition.

2015 Fiat 500 "I Defend Gala 2015" One-Off Edition

Specifications
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  • Model: 2015 Fiat 500 "I Defend Gala 2015" One-Off Edition
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Pros
Cons

Background

The Robert F. Kennedy Human Rights Award was established in 1984 by the RFK Center for Justice and Human Rights. The award recognizes people from all over the world who have made significant and courageous contributions to human rights in their own countries.

With the 2015 "I Defend" Gala coming up, set to happen against the spectacular Riva Tunnel in Monte Carlo, Fiat decided to show up with a Monte Carlo legend of its own. The 500->ke1708 has been tearing up the streets of Monte Carlo since it has existed, and it will return this time in slightly more sedate form.

This annual black-tie gala is famous for two things above all else: amazing food and delicacies from some of the best chefs in existence, and a high-dollar auction of artwork from around the world.

This one-of-a-kind Fiat, designed and customized by "Umbrian master craftsman" Stefano Conticelli, will go up on the auction block alongside a series of photos by Harry Benson, and a painting by the aptly named Michelangelo Pistoletto.

Exterior

To we heathens, Monte Carlo is best known as the home of casinos, F1 racing->ke447 and James Bond movies. But the kind of people James Bond hangs out with apparently genuflect to the area just as much for its boats. All right, technically yachts -- like the Riva yacht this Fiat was designed to recall.

It's not altogether easy to find the influence of the modern Riva yacht in this design; the true automotive interpretation of a modern Riva would be a silver convertible Veyron->ke1112 with teak decking.

The red convertible top on this Bossa Nova White is a callback to the canopy tops on those yachts, as is the oak paneling on the rearview mirrors. As many of those original yachts had Italian calfskin leather interiors, Conticelli opted to carry that inside theme outside to trim the Fiat. That's right -- the beige trim on this Fiat isn't beige paint, or God forbid plastic. It's real hide of baby cow, lovingly conditioned and weatherproofed.

And that picnic basket hanging off the back? That's not wicker -- perish the thought. Also real bits of baby animal, carefully and geometrically woven to hold as many vegan soybean sandwiches and tofu rolls as the buyer can eat.

Overall, in terms of styling, it's pretty certain that the kind of people who can afford to go to the annual "I Protect" charity gala will love it. Then again, they also eat snails and pickled fish eggs -- perhaps the rarefied air of wealth has some effect on taste. But when you're trying to raise as much money as possible for a great cause, it makes sense to cater to the folks with the checkbooks. It is a one-of-a-kind, after all, and nothing rolls in the fat money like exclusivity.

Interior

Fiat hasn't said anything specific about the interior, apart from the fact that it's based on the upscale Lounge Package. That means pretty much every interior appointment Fiat has on offer. And cow. Lots and lots of cow. Fiat does offer red leather with white accents ("Ivory Ambiance") on Lounge models, so that seems like the logical choice here. Other interior touches are anybody's guess, but will probably be limited to Fiat's already impressive array of factory options.

Drivetrain

Say what you will about the "I Defend Gala 2015" Fiat 500, but at least it's slow. Painfully slow. All right, it's not as if anyone expects a Fiat to be a monster in the quarter mile, and in any case, it probably doesn't make much sense to encourage contests of acceleration when you've got a $10,000 leather picnic basket hanging off the back. Still, 69 horsepower from a 1.2-liter gas engine (rather than the 85- or 105-horsepower options in the 2016 Fiat 500), does seem a bit deliberately underwhelming. You'd almost have to go back to the original Fiat 500 to get less, and that car probably weighed two-thirds of what this one does.

Personally, sorry to say -- if someone wants to sell me something that looks like a Riva yacht and takes 13 seconds to get to 60 mph, it had better be an actual Riva yacht.

Conclusion

If you don't entirely get this car as an entity, then congratulations: That proves you're still sane. Speaking as someone who generally likes Italian styling, owns a fair number of Italian suits, and is a big fan of Monica Bellucci -- this thing is just pointless and ugly beyond comprehension. But then again, who cares what I think?

"The very rich are different from you and me," Fitzgerald once wrote. Let's hope so. Truly. Let's hope that the very rich people attending this year's gala in Monte Carlo are very, very different from you and me -- because if someone's willing to lay down seven figures for something this irredeemably awful, at least it will go to a far better cause than the same amount wasted on furthering Jaden Smith's acting career. And Will didn't even get a baby cow picnic basket out of that deal.

Don't ask some things to make sense. Just be thankful when they turn out for the best.