Just hours after TopSpeed broke the news that FCA->ke5312 would be building a 707-horsepower minivan, the automaker has abruptly canceled the project. The news comes from a company insider close to the action. “I just know it’s not happening,” the unnamed source said.

Answers unfolded when we contacted Mike Manley, the global head of both Ram and Jeep brands, about the cancellation. “Honestly, I can’t have the Chrysler->ke21 guys using my Grand Cherokee Trackhawk powertrain and stealing my customers away. The Jeep->ke40 project was started first, plus I’m not allowing the Pacifica->ke1090 to make my Jeep look slow!”

While this sort of inter-company drama is rarely leaked to the media, it makes sense for the Jeep Grand Cherokee Trackhawk to reside atop the Hellcat heap. Such a vehicle would further boost the Jeep brand’s market presence in preparation for the upcoming Grand Wagoneer launch. That high-end, ultra-luxurious SUV is set to compete with the Cadillac Escalade->ke245 and BMW X5.->ke326 FCA would be foolish to thwart its own progress.

Speaking of being foolish, you, our loyal readers, might be considered one should you believe any of this. Yep, happy April Fools day. And no, FCA is not building a Pacifica Hellcat – and it never was. (At least to our knowledge!) We also never had a “candid conversation” with Ralph Gilles, though we’d never turn down the opportunity. We hope you had as much fun reading these jestful Pacifica Hellcat stories as we had writing them.

Continue reading to see our full coverage of the Pacifica Hellcat joke.

Happy April Fools!

2017 Chrysler Pacifica Hellcat

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