Boy, I sure miss the good old days when car updates were more about the update and less about meaningless words in press releases. Things were much simpler back in the 1960s when most cars received yearly updates. No three-year planning, no bullshit. "Welcome to the new model year, have some redesigned features and a few extras," was the norm and it was absolutely brilliant. Nowadays, we just get facelifts with new headlamps and new speedometer needless. Pfeh!

If you haven't been reading the news, BMW just upgraded the 2 Series and M2. And, by upgraded, I mean that it launched a big press release about nothing and made fewer improvements than the number of cups of coffee I have each morning. And trust me, I don't drink too many. That's slightly revised headlamps and taillights, new dashboard trim, and some minor changes to the instrument cluster. Facelift? I think not! You know what this is? Removing a mole off your nose and calling it a rhinoplasty.

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The Art of Being Lazy

Don't you just hate it when that happens? Of course you don't! Because you'll buy everything BMW gives you. Okay okay, maybe not all of you, but most of you BMW fanatics would do it. Heck, you'd buy a turn with a BMW badge on it if such a thing was for sale (now that's a business idea!). Sure, I'm being harsh here. The 2 Series isn't a turd and the M2 is actually better at being a classic M3 than the overpriced, super-heavy M4, but you get the idea. Automakers have become increasingly lazy and the thing that bothers me the most is that this bad habit is more evident in the premium segment. I mean come on, I kinda expect the upgraded Suzuki Swift to be the same as the old car because it's coming from a company that doesn't want to spend too much on facelifts. But when your name is BMW, Mercedes-Benz, and Audi and you're claiming that you deliver the best and fanciest products out there, you have to deliver. On the other hand, today's customers seem to be less demanding in certain areas, so I guess you get what you deserve for the most part.

Facelift?

2018 BMW M2

2016 BMW M2


No! This is a facelift!

Stop Making a Big Fuss about Everything

Yeah, I'm somewhat of a BMW hater this week. I've already discussed the upcoming 8 Series, but I'd like to bash it some more. So BMW is reviving one of its greatest nameplates ever. Everyone gets excited and goes the "shut up and take my money" route. Well, I'd rather sleep on a it for a few nights. The grand tourer that BMW is working right now isn't going to be the 8 Series we all know. Granted, it's somewhat of a silly statement because the two cars are two decades apart, but what I'm trying to say is that the new 8 Series will be just a two-door 7 Series with fancier styling. Or a larger 6 Series with fancier styling if you like it more. It's gonna be heavy and it's gonna suck. At least when compared to the S-Class Coupe. The design will probably be pretty neat if it doesn't turn out to be too similar to the rest of the lineup, but that's it. If you think it's going to be great, please drop them arguments in the comments box. I'd love to see whatcha got.

Dear Rolls-Royce, Stop Naming Your Cars after Buildings and Bridges

I don't know what's going on over at Rolls-Royce, but it looks as if the company is being run by either a sheikh that wants to please all his friends from the Middle East or a kid picking random landmarks to name special-edition models. Listen Rolls-Royce, I get that you're waiting for a few new models and all and that most of your deep-pocketed clients are from the Middle-East, but that's no reason to pay tribute to a mosque, a bridge, and an old stone building. It was fun the first time, but it's getting ridiculous. Just make a Burj Al Arab edition with a solid gold interior and call it a day, okay? Thank you!

Why are You still Buying SUVs?

I read this interesting article the other day, about a few wagons you can buy in the United States instead of those larger, less efficient crossovers. And it hit me! Is the SUV craze still going on? Why? Why are you people still buying crossovers? I get why are you going for those really large, roomy SUVs, but what's the point in saying no to a wagon just to get a higher riding wagon? I'd really like some answers. And no, safety doesn't count.