Hey folks, did you miss me? Yeah, it's me, Pops! What? Did you think I only write on Fridays? Although I hate early Tuesdays, I had to get out of my lazy routine over this fracas about Jeremy Clarkson being in the hospital with severe pneumonia. Don't get me wrong, I think that being sick is awful, but we pay way too much attention to an old man that gets by making dreadful jokes about cars and insulting just about everyone with the sole purpose of getting a bigger audience.

Although I'm a sucker for a good show with solid punchlines and great humor, I've never been a fan of Top Gear. And obviously, I'm not a fan of The Grand Tour. And, Clarkson is too blame for this. Yeah, I know, it's a show that doesn't take car reviews very seriously and making fun of everything is a big part of the plot, but I just feel as if they're producing for an audience that's 16 years old on average. Tops! But I digress. I'm writing this because Clarkson made a joke about how James May is the only "functioning member" of the Grand Tour team (Richard Hammond had a serious car crash in June) and added the caption "God help us." Keep reading to learn why.

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Captain Slow, the Way to Go!

I'm not an idiot, I know Clarkson is joking and trying to get a few hundred thousands of Instagram likes, but it just got me thinking that the Grand Tour would be better off without him. Just think about it. No more racist jokes, no more jokes about truck drivers murdering prostitutes, no more homophobic punchlines, and no more rocks thrown toward show staff. Okay, the part with the rocks is indeed funny and not having those moments would make the show less entertaining, but even I know that old people need to get rid of their antiquated view of the world.

Granted, it's part of what makes Clarkson unique, but a show without him could be a bit more entertaining. And fresh. It could definitely be fresh! Captain Slow is an awesome fellow, and I bet he has the ability to run a better show by himself. Or together with Richard Hammond, given that he plans to stop rolling over in fast cars. May has always been able to criticize a product without making childish jokes and is the kind of guy that gives an affordable car credit when needed. Clarkson can't. And yes, I can't stand Jeremy's infinite praise for certain British and German marques. They all make duds, and ten good apples in a box of 12 doesn't make a box of good apples.

And I also think that May, by himself, or with a different team, could steer a show toward a more serious path. It doesn't have to be boringly serious with way too much tech talk, but the world really lacks a solid car show with a wide audience. I mean, I get my daily dose of automotive humor from YouTube any day of the week, I'd very much like to watch 60 minutes of pure automotive awesomeness that isn't based around jokes I used to make in my teen years.

And to end this on a very Clarksonesque note, have you seen his teeth? Now that's something to laugh about instead of someone's race or sexual identity.

References

Jeremy Clarkson Hospitalized With Pneumonia, Continues To Make Fun Of Co-Hosts