Date your car

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Happy day after Valentine’s Day everybody. Right about now, as you wipe the mid-morning crust from your eyes, you begin to realize that the person next to you is the exact same person he/she was last week, just with a few hundred dollars worth of food and chocolate in him/her. This reminds me of the relationship that’s worth putting money into: your car.

The cars in my past have been from Japan, Europe and even a few home-grown in the U.S. — My dating past has never been that eclectic. So now I’m paying tribute to my best relationships so far with my top 20 reasons a car is better than a woman. Anyone who wants to add to this (especially women with the counterpoints) please feel free.

Am I jaded? Absolutely.

Hit the jump for the list

20 Reasons a Car Is Better Than a Woman:

- * Women don’t come with idiot lights
- * You can turn on a car whenever you want
- * It’s ok for your good friends to borrow your car every once in a while
- * It’s an advantage if a car carries a lot of baggage
- * You’re expected to go fast with your car
- * Upgrading parts on a car doesn’t lead to fights
- * You want to know the owner history on a used car
- * It’s a good thing when your car is full of gas
- * Chrome is cheaper than diamonds
- * Cars get better with age
- * Maintenance intervals on a car are less frequent
- * A car doesn’t care if you drive another car
- * You always know the mileage on a car, not always on a woman
- * People don’t mind if you carry around magazines with naked car parts
- * The rubber lasts longer with a car
- * Your car is not offended it you try to sell it on the street
- * A car doesn’t mind waiting until after the football game to spend time with it
- * Cars are always into leather
- * It only takes soap and water to make a car pretty again
- * You can have multiple cars at once

What do you think?
Show Comments

3 comments:

  (50) posted on 02.16.2009

Im lovin this article!

Well I agree, except i do mind if someone else drives my car!

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AK47  (1024) posted on 02.16.2009

- * A car reaches its limits a lot quicker than some women.

- * A car doesn’t attempt to kick you in the crotch.

- * A car doesn’t judge what you do in front or inside it.

- * No man feels inadequate with his car.

- * A car doesn’t dump your A$$ and insult you.

- * A car always wants more, no matter how good or bad you are at it.

- * A car doesn’t complain about the drivers size.

- * A car doesn’t find you annoying, no matter what you do.

- * The more attention you pay to a car, the better it looks.

- * A car doesn’t talk about you behind your back.

- * You can go long distances in a car without wearing yourself out.

- * A car doesn’t mind if you don’t take a shower.

- * A car will NEVER cheat on you.

Okay, Iam done.

AK47  (233) posted on 02.16.2009

Cars are better than women because: They dont break down once a month.
They are easier to turn on.
If they wont turn on, it’s quicker to find out why and probably cheaper
No matter what you say it’ll still give you a ride .
A car wont care if you ride another car.
You actually wanna hear a car raise it’s voice.
When a car get’s old and tired nobody looks down on you for getting a new one .
You dont mind driving a car after someone else just has.
cars don’t whine unless something is really wrong.
If your car makes too much noise, you can buy a silencer.
cars don’t get pregnant.
cars don’t mind if you look at other cars, or if you buy car magazines.
Your parents don’t remain in touch with your old car after you dump it.
Wearing four fresh rubbers makes a ride in a car more enjoyable.

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