Excited about the new BMW 8 Series? Here’s Why You Shouldn’t Be
Meh!by Pops, on
The BMW 8 Series is making a comeback after two decades. Yey! No, stop right there. No need to yay. The new 8 Series won’t be of the yay variety. It will be just another expensive, heavy, nanny-packed Bimmer made for those rich enough to throw at least $100,000 at the Mercedes-Benz S-Class Coupe. And, for those BMW fans waiting for the 8 Series to return, of course, but the rich enough statement applies here as well. Bottom line, if you can’t afford it, you’re yaying just because the name of a cool car from the 1990s is coming back.
But it’s just the name, not spirit.
Don’t get me wrong; I’m a big fan of the 8 Series. But, much like the Shelby Cobra and the DeTomaso Pantera, it’s a car from another era and needs to stay there. Otherwise, we’ll end up with yet another modern Maserati Ghibli, which has nothing in common with the outstanding grand tourer from the late 1960s. But isn’t it a bit too early to bash a car that won’t be here until 2018? Nope. It’s never too early to be a hater. And, let’s not forget we’re talking about BMW here. Keep reading to see what I mean.
Continue reading for the full story.
The New 8 Series Might as Well Be a Truck
Whoa, what did I just say? I can already smell the tar. And, unless Foghorn Leghorn is being chased by that goofy dog around my house, I think I see some feathers too. Well, say (or do) what you want, but all modern Bimmers are heavy as hell, and the company’s promise to deliver lightweight performance is just PR talk. I’m fully aware that the 8 Series is supposed to be heavy anyway, but the point is it won’t do much to improve the standard performance you get in this niche. If you’re too young to remember the first 8 Series, you probably don’t know that it was often compared to the Porsche 928.
It was no slouch, and it was one of the best grand tourers on the market
It was no slouch, and it was one of the best grand tourers on the market. Taking that kind of performance into the future means making more than just a two-door 7 Series. And, although it will get its own design language with all sorts of aggressive features, it won’t get a unique platform. Why? Because it’s too expensive to develop, and it doesn’t make sense financially when BMW already has new underpinnings for the BMW 7 Series.
That’s how the cookie crumbles nowadays, and that’s why we can’t have nice things anymore.
And, despite BMW’s claims of dynamics and performance, the 8 Series will be just a glorified 6 Series. It will be fancier, but larger and heavier. It will probably be more powerful too, but with all that extra weight, it won’t make much of a difference.
The new 8 Series simply can't deliver the excitement of the first-generation coupe
Now, I’m not saying a new 8 Series is a bad idea. The S-Class Coupe needs a solid competitor, and BMW has to cling to something in order to get back on the horse. All I’m saying is that the new 8 Series simply can’t deliver the excitement of the first-generation coupe. It will lack everything the original 8 Series had simply because we’re living in a different era with different standards and priorities. These standards and priorities suck big time, but that’s what the people want. And, this is where big money is made.
Can you see the vicious circle?
Read our full review on the upcoming BMW 8 Series here.