Highest resale value, redone
Highest resale value. At least that’s the scoop at the Kelley Blue Book website, provided that you agree with me that Milwaukee native Bangle has made every BMW he’s touched plug-ugly. But, the rest of the cars on the list don’t have Milwaukee as an excuse.
The best resale value in a sedan was the Acura TSX. This is an incredibly boring car, available only in a 4 cyl. Configuration. It makes a Maytag exiting by comparison. Though at first it seems no surprise, the Prius won the best resale value for a hybrid category. No, it’s not because it’s the only hybrid. It’s because there is a thing in life called the “greater sucker theory.” Wait another couple of years, until the next buyer gets to replace the batteries. For a regular car, that’s a DieHard at about a hundred bucks. But the next fool that buys a used Prius can expect a bill about twenty times that.
Another winner? The Toyota Tacoma. According the Kelley, it’s a “small pick-up.” Small. As in what? Picking up lint? Small and pick-up really don’t equate. A pick up is supposed to carry a minimum of a half-ton of everything. No Toyota has ever been able to do that, at least without having the tailgate collapse.
The Mini convertible won as highest resale value in a convertible.
So, why don’t they just rename this class the “highest resale value in a chick car?” It is rumored that BMW is about to add a fourth brand to their line-up. That would be false. The best they can do is add a third brand. The Mini is nothing but a big Barbie car.
We need to redo this. The highest resale value of cars is not supposed to be measured by the highest resale value of appliances.
But, we must concede to tradition, so we’ll keep the Kelley categories, sorta:
Highest resale value in a limousine to excess, non-bespoke but manufactured. The nominees are:
- Maybach landaulette
- extended length Rolls-Royce Phantom
- Maybach extended length limousine
Mercedes-Benz Pullman 600 from the 1960’s
Highest resale value in a hot car with a soft top that has neither an Italian name nor a single piece of hard metal that came from that country:
- Mustang GT
- BMW 6 series convertible
- BMW 3 series convertible
- Corvette convertible
- 1969 Cadillac deVille convertible in Firemist red
Highest resale value in a secretary car
- Mustang six, any year, now or ever
- Camaro six, now, ever, or the next one
- Any Toyota
- Any Toyota that wasn’t included in the last category.
And, for the grand finale:
The car that Mary Kay should pick for the next pink:
- Cadillac CTS
- Lexus LS hybrid
- A pink Prius
- An F-150, Mary Kay edition.
Oh, by the way, nominations are open for further categories, provided that you supply nominations within the categories. I, personally, kinda like that F-150 in breast cancer pink. I cannot understand why Mulally hasn’t thought of it before now, what with the King Ranch edition, and all.