Rear Seat Reminders, Lane Departure Warning…. Come on people – just pay attention already

Technology is supposed to set us free, make life easier for us, and ultimately led us to a futuristic lifestyle where there is no war, no need for money, no poverty, and no auto-related deaths. And, while that possibility is there in the long term, the introduction of new technologies is making us so dumb that it’s getting out of hand. First, let me touch base on the whole rear seat reminder situation. Now, I know this has been around for a while, with the 2016 GMC Acadia being one of the first and another 20 GM vehicles following shortly after. Nissan also has its “rear door alert” that ultimately saves the same purpose – “Hey, don’t forget you have a kid back here.” Seriously, though? Do you need to read that again? Who the hell really forgets their kid on accident? Is that really what the human species has been dumbed down to? Devolving to the point that we no longer have that basic instinct to protect our children at all costs? Come on, People – even some of the dumbest animals in the world have this natural instinct, and here we are at the top of the food chain leaving kids in hot cars to die. And, sadly, that’s not where the lack of attention span stops.

A recent report by the IIHS reports that technology like Lane Departure Warnings really are saving lives, and things like autonomous emergency braking systems are cutting back on front-to-rear accidents. That’s great that lives are being saved, but I have to ask you: Why in the world is this necessary? As a species that has been driving for over 100 years, how have we gotten to the point that we don’t pay attention enough to warrant such systems? Isn’t the point of driving to pay attention to your surroundings? I’ve been driving for a good 20 years now, but I know that was the basic principle taught to me way back then. Where the hell did we go wrong? Well, apparently, it happened somewhere because the IIHS reports that single vehicle, sideswipe, and head-on crashes have dropped by 18 percent and injury rates by as low as 24 percent. And, apparently, fatal accidents have been reduced by 86 percent in cars with lane-departure warning systems. Those are impressive numbers, but still, it goes to show just how out of touch we humans are with what we’re doing. Don’t stop reading… there’s more.

Trucks, Blind Spot Detection, and Automatic Braking

How Much More Driver Assistance Technology Will you Tolerate?
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Trucks equipped with lane-departure warning systems say a drop of around 50 percent in relevant crashes for 2015 alone.

So, the IIHS’s study wasn’t limited to just cars – trucks have seen a decrease in relevant crashes too. Trucks equipped with lane-departure warning systems say a drop of around 50 percent in relevant crashes for 2015 alone. Injuries in Sweden have also shown a decrease in injuries by 53 percent. When it comes to blind-spot detection – because it’s so hard to look over your shoulder, apparently – lane-change crashes have dropped by 14 percent and injuries by 23 percent. An older study even showed that automatic emergency braking dropped front-to-rear crashes by 50 percent while rearview cameras have cut down related accidents by just over 16 percent. So, now you know that – according to the IIHS – these systems are in fact saving lives. Of course, that’s assuming you don’t fall on the side of the equation that believes this is just propaganda to prove we need such systems. And, if we do really need these systems as it appears we do, the human species is inevitably doomed.

The Dumb Keep Getting Dumber, and Automakers Aren’t Helping

How Much More Driver Assistance Technology Will you Tolerate?
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So, here’s the deal. We’re obviously getting dumber if things have gotten so bad that we can forget our own damn kids in a hot car. And, while I’m on that topics, it’s literally just as bad if you forget your dog in the back seat of a hot car too. If you’re dumb enough to do such a thing, you shouldn’t be allowed to own animals or reproduce because there’s already enough dumb in the world. I still don’t understand how you can forget a kid, especially when it’s hotter than Satan’s balls outside. Just doesn’t make sense. Perhaps you idiots should pay more attention instead of posting your selfies on Facebook or texting your mistress. Not paying attention to the lane you’re in and not looking behind you when you back up? It makes me sad to be a human to know that we actually need reminders to physically look where the hell we’re going. Are you so lazy that you can’t turn your head to look out the back window as your reverse your BMW M5? Apparently, 16 percent of the people are, as they don’t have accidents now that they have a rear-view camera, so it must be the convenience of being able to look straight ahead. Same thing goes for lane departure warnings – just look over your damn shoulder and check your mirrors.

Apparently, 16 percent of the people are, as they don’t have accidents now that they have a rear-view camera, so it must be the convenience of being able to look straight ahead

And, you can thank automakers for helping to make us dumber. I remember a Kia ad about autonomous braking a while back. The dumb girl was cruising along singing when suddenly she daydreams about being on dancing with the stars or American Idols or some stupid thing, and luckily, her Kia saved the day and stopped her from ass packing someone. Nobody caught onto it, but you do realize that is an automaker saying “it’s okay to day dream and drive because our cool new brake software has your back,” right? Of course, we all know that those systems don’t always work, but hey maybe you’ll get lucky the next time you dream about getting laid on your way home, and some idiot without any of these safety systems forgets to look over his shoulder and causes a pileup.

Ok, so in reality, the somewhat slow introduction of these systems is supposed to help get us ready for self-driving cars. But, even this logic is flawed, as we’re convincing people to put their faith in emergency systems that are designed to work when all else fails. As a licensed driver and one of the smartest creatures (not so sure about this one anymore) on the planet, you shouldn’t need emergency systems to stop accidents that you should be able to prevent if you pay attention. Alright, that’s the end of my rant for now? Any of you guys have any thoughts? Feel free to fire back in the comments section below ;)

References

GMC Acadia

2017 GMC Acadia
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Read our full review on the GMC Acadia.

BMW M5

2018 BMW M5 High Resolution Exterior
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Read our full review on the BMW M5.

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