• Pops’ Rants: Carmakers That Need a New Hobby and Why You Shouldn’t Feed Internet Trolls

The Mercedes SLC is being discontinued and I couldn’t care less!

Hello Topspeeders, did you miss me? I haven’t been around much these days, but it’s not because the last "Fast and Furious" movie is so bad that it almost killed me. Nope. I just signed up to a couple of social media platforms and got sucked into it. It’s amazing how much crap you can find and how easy it is to promote tasteless, meaningless content. Like the fact that "The Fate of the Furious" might be a good film. Yeah, I know, the FF8 jokes are getting a bit old, but I just love to see the look of annoyance on people’s faces.

I’d like to start this week’s rant by reminding you that BMW thinks we’re a bunch of losers that would buy anything with a fancy badge. In case you haven’t seen it yet, I’ve already discussed why the new M4 CS is a glorified M4 for suckers with fat wallets. It’s only slightly lighter than a big-ass Mercedes E-Class and it costs more than true sports cars like the Porsche 911 Carrera, Alfa Romeo 4C, and Caterham Seven. BMW should definitely find a new hobby, but the German carmaker isn’t alone in this.

Continue reading for the full story.

Dear China, Stop Being Lame!

2017 Shanghai Auto Show – Worst In Show
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2017 Shanghai Auto Show – Worst In Show
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Zotye SR9 pictured on the left, Land Wind X7 pictured on the right.

There are at least two Chinese manufacturers that need to stop building cars and take up knitting instead. They’re called Zotye and Land Wind, and both went to the Shanghai Auto Showwith close replicas of the Porsche Macan and Land Rover Evoque, respectively. I know the Chinese have been copying European and American cars for quite a few years now, but this is getting ridiculous and it’s actually insulting that they have been allowed to display their knock-off at a major automotive event. Not to mention that Zotye’s butchered Macan is pink. Pink! The only cars that should be pink are the Volkswagen Beetle and 1970s Mopars. And, what kind of name is Land Wind? For a company that brags about being China’s first SUV brand, they sure have a crappy name and from what I’m seeing, a lineup of vehicles that look as if they were designed in the 1990s. Plus this Evoque knock-off of course. Someone should sue their hiney so they can return to designing SUVs like its 1993 and McLaren is setting world speed records with the F1.

The MG E-Motion Is Awesome as Hell!

MG E-Motion Is the Company's Most Gorgeous Concept to Date
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2016 Mazda RX-VISION Concept High Resolution Exterior
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MG E-Motion Is the Company's Most Gorgeous Concept to Date Exterior Computer Renderings and Photoshop
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2016 Mazda RX-VISION Concept High Resolution Exterior
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Speaking of the Shanghai Auto Show, the folks from MG, once a solid British company that’s trying to get back on the horse under Chinese ownership, unveiled as awesome coupe that called the E-Motion. It’s just a concept and I don’t see it coming to dealerships near me anytime soon, but boy is it gorgeous. I’m a big fan of the MG B and other classic cars from this company, but the E-Motion is now a solid second on my list. Now for what grinds my gears: I’ve seen many people say that MG looked a bit too much at the Mazda RX-Vision when it designed the E-Motion. Well, the MG is indeed red, has a similar grille, and headlamps with "eyebrows" sculpted into the body, but that’s about it. Not to mention that the headlamps are significantly different, and we’re not even talking about the same shade of red. And no, the fact that both are two-door coupes doesn’t mean a thing, so stop wining. MG isn’t the problem, Land Wind is! And here, I put together this nice photo so you can see how silly and unsubstantiated your opinion is.

The Mercedes-Benz SLC Might Be Dead. Boo hoo!

2017 Mercedes-Benz SLC
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So I’ve been reading some reports claiming that the Mercedes-Benz SLC might be having the axe above its canvas head. And everyone keeps making a drama about it. I don’t see what the big deal is. So Merc wants to kill it because sales are slow and people are buying more SUVs than sports cars. Why is this a tragedy? Have you already forgotten that we can no longer buy a Dodge Viper? Screw the SLC, Mercedes will probably come up with a replacement anyway. Maybe not next year, but the Germans can’t help it and they won’t last too long without being part of every freaking niche on the market. It’s been so long since I last heard anything about the SLC that I’m not by any means surprised that Merc wants to can it. Are you upset? Buy a BMW 2 Series Convertible and you’ll feel much better. You should actually get a Caterham Seven or something like that, but I know you need all those fancy features like infotainment, USB, and all sorts of colored lights in the instrument cluster. Yuck!

Some Loser Wants the Internet to Buy Him a Challenger Demon

2018 Dodge Challenger SRT Demon High Resolution Exterior
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I really need to stop reading all the stupid things in the web. Especially articles about how a pathetic guy from Dallas launched an Indiegogo campaign to buy a Dodge Challenger Demon with donations. I guess any nut can do that nowadays, but what’s funny is that this guy promises uses who pay a certain amount drag races, USB drives with videos, and certificates. Oh, and I should mention that he wants to raise a little more than one million bucks. For a car that will probably cost around $100,000, that is! Go home lad, you’re drunk!

Hey, I’m Pops, and these people here said I need to have a bio next to a picture like everyone else. I don’t like it one bit but heck, here I am. You’re probably wondering what my real name is, huh? Well it doesn’t matter and you shouldn’t care. People call me Pops and it’s been like that for a very long time. Heck, I think I’ve been the pops of the group since I was in my early 20s. Something to do with the fact that I rant a lot and I hate pretty much everything. "Hey look, here comes Pops to bitch some more," they used to say. They used to, get my drift? What a bunch of assholes! I never bitch, I have opinions. Sure, I kind of like hearing myself talk but hey, if you don’t like it, you know where the door is. I hate it when people don’t like what I have to say but still stick around.

Pops' Rants: Cadillac Sucks, Ferrari Is a Hypocrite, Civic Si Gets Turbo for Nothing
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Which brings me to why I’m here. You know what else I don’t like? This silly thing they now call an automotive industry. One of man’s greatest achievements has been pussified so every blockhead can drive a car while using smartphone apps, verifying his tire pressure, calling his wife, and checking whether his dog pooped on the neighbors lawn. Instrument panels have lights for every little thing that goes wrong under the hood and sends you to the dealer to change the oil. Change the oil yourself you lazy prick! Back in my day I did that in the garage, getting all sweaty and greasy. No car told me what to do and where to go. Buttons, swipes, screens, voice activation, I’m just sick of them. Wasting time and money on silly things instead of simply enjoying driving. I still do that you know. In my 1970 Plymouth Roadrunner. But not you. No, you’re too busy getting the latest apps. Ah screw it, you’re not gonna get it anyway. And I’m tired of this bio thing...

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