And I still think there’s too much hype around the BMW 8 Series

Boy, I sure miss the good old days when car updates were more about the update and less about meaningless words in press releases. Things were much simpler back in the 1960s when most cars received yearly updates. No three-year planning, no bullshit. "Welcome to the new model year, have some redesigned features and a few extras," was the norm and it was absolutely brilliant. Nowadays, we just get facelifts with new headlamps and new speedometer needless. Pfeh!

If you haven’t been reading the news, BMW just upgraded the 2 Series and M2. And, by upgraded, I mean that it launched a big press release about nothing and made fewer improvements than the number of cups of coffee I have each morning. And trust me, I don’t drink too many. That’s slightly revised headlamps and taillights, new dashboard trim, and some minor changes to the instrument cluster. Facelift? I think not! You know what this is? Removing a mole off your nose and calling it a rhinoplasty.

Continue reading for the full story.

The Art of Being Lazy

Automakers have become increasingly lazy and the thing that bothers me the most is that this bad habit is more evident in the premium segment

Don’t you just hate it when that happens? Of course you don’t! Because you’ll buy everything BMW gives you. Okay okay, maybe not all of you, but most of you BMW fanatics would do it. Heck, you’d buy a turn with a BMW badge on it if such a thing was for sale (now that’s a business idea!). Sure, I’m being harsh here. The 2 Series isn’t a turd and the M2 is actually better at being a classic M3 than the overpriced, super-heavy M4, but you get the idea. Automakers have become increasingly lazy and the thing that bothers me the most is that this bad habit is more evident in the premium segment. I mean come on, I kinda expect the upgraded Suzuki Swift to be the same as the old car because it’s coming from a company that doesn’t want to spend too much on facelifts. But when your name is BMW, Mercedes-Benz, and Audi and you’re claiming that you deliver the best and fanciest products out there, you have to deliver. On the other hand, today’s customers seem to be less demanding in certain areas, so I guess you get what you deserve for the most part.

Facelift?

2016 - 2018 BMW M2
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2016 - 2018 BMW M2 High Resolution Exterior
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2018 BMW M2 2016 BMW M2

No! This is a facelift!

Pops' Rants: Facelifts are BS; Someone at Rolls-Royce May Be Smoking Pot
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Stop Making a Big Fuss about Everything

2019 BMW 8 Series
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The new 8 Series will be just a two-door 7 Series with fancier styling

Yeah, I’m somewhat of a BMW hater this week.I’ve already discussed the upcoming 8 Series, but I’d like to bash it some more. So BMW is reviving one of its greatest nameplates ever. Everyone gets excited and goes the "shut up and take my money" route. Well, I’d rather sleep on a it for a few nights. The grand tourer that BMW is working right now isn’t going to be the 8 Series we all know. Granted, it’s somewhat of a silly statement because the two cars are two decades apart, but what I’m trying to say is that the new 8 Series will be just a two-door 7 Series with fancier styling. Or a larger 6 Series with fancier styling if you like it more. It’s gonna be heavy and it’s gonna suck. At least when compared to the S-Class Coupe. The design will probably be pretty neat if it doesn’t turn out to be too similar to the rest of the lineup, but that’s it. If you think it’s going to be great, please drop them arguments in the comments box. I’d love to see whatcha got.

Dear Rolls-Royce, Stop Naming Your Cars after Buildings and Bridges

2017 Rolls-Royce Wraith Inspired By Sheikh Zayed Bridge
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2017 Rolls-Royce Phantom Inspired By Sheikh Zayed Grand Mosque Exterior High Resolution
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Just make a Burj Al Arab edition with a solid gold interior and call it a day

I don’t know what’s going on over at Rolls-Royce, but it looks as if the company is being run by either a sheikh that wants to please all his friends from the Middle East or a kid picking random landmarks to name special-edition models. Listen Rolls-Royce, I get that you’re waiting for a few new models and all and that most of your deep-pocketed clients are from the Middle-East, but that’s no reason to pay tribute to a mosque, a bridge, and an old stone building. It was fun the first time, but it’s getting ridiculous. Just make a Burj Al Arab edition with a solid gold interior and call it a day, okay? Thank you!

Why are You still Buying SUVs?

Ditch The SUV And Try One Of These Wagons Instead
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I read this interesting article the other day, about a few wagons you can buy in the United States instead of those larger, less efficient crossovers. And it hit me! Is the SUV craze still going on? Why? Why are you people still buying crossovers? I get why are you going for those really large, roomy SUVs, but what’s the point in saying no to a wagon just to get a higher riding wagon? I’d really like some answers. And no, safety doesn’t count.

Hey, I’m Pops, and these people here said I need to have a bio next to a picture like everyone else. I don’t like it one bit but heck, here I am. You’re probably wondering what my real name is, huh? Well it doesn’t matter and you shouldn’t care. People call me Pops and it’s been like that for a very long time. Heck, I think I’ve been the pops of the group since I was in my early 20s. Something to do with the fact that I rant a lot and I hate pretty much everything. "Hey look, here comes Pops to bitch some more," they used to say. They used to, get my drift? What a bunch of assholes! I never bitch, I have opinions. Sure, I kind of like hearing myself talk but hey, if you don’t like it, you know where the door is. I hate it when people don’t like what I have to say but still stick around.

Pops' Rants: Cadillac Sucks, Ferrari Is a Hypocrite, Civic Si Gets Turbo for Nothing
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Which brings me to why I’m here. You know what else I don’t like? This silly thing they now call an automotive industry. One of man’s greatest achievements has been pussified so every blockhead can drive a car while using smartphone apps, verifying his tire pressure, calling his wife, and checking whether his dog pooped on the neighbors lawn. Instrument panels have lights for every little thing that goes wrong under the hood and sends you to the dealer to change the oil. Change the oil yourself you lazy prick! Back in my day I did that in the garage, getting all sweaty and greasy. No car told me what to do and where to go. Buttons, swipes, screens, voice activation, I’m just sick of them. Wasting time and money on silly things instead of simply enjoying driving. I still do that you know. In my 1970 Plymouth Roadrunner. But not you. No, you’re too busy getting the latest apps. Ah screw it, you’re not gonna get it anyway. And I’m tired of this bio thing...

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