• Pops’ Rants: Hybrids Are Dying, Porsche Is Playing Dumb

You can never have enough ice

You know I hate summer right? Well, you might as well hear it again. It’s way too hot and it makes me too lazy to go to the fridge to make more ice. And I’m really cranky when I run out of ice for my whiskey. But, there is one thing I do like about summer: the racing! Oh man, June is simply packed with good quality racing. There’s the 24 Hours of Le Mans, there’sPikes Peak, and there’s plenty of action at the Goodwood Festival of Speed. Yeah I know, Goodwood isn’t a sanctioned racing event, but you get to see a bunch of cool cars going up the hill. Old cars, the kind that Pops likes. Unfortunately, this year’s 24 Hours of Le Mans was a bit of a disappointment.

And, before all you Porsche fans start yelling that it was awesome because they won again, I’d like to point out that they were extremely lucky and the racing sucks. And yes, I had my money on Toyota this year. Because I like the Camry (yes, it’s irrelevant blah blah) and I think they deserve the title after so many unlucky stints at Le Mans. But, it wasn’t to be. Their cars crapped out and the 919 Hybrids had fun doing donuts around the LMP2 cars. Because Audi is no longer racing in the prototype class and hybrid race cars suck. Yes, I said it, they suck!

Continue reading for the full story.

Reliability Is a Bitch

2017 24 Hours of Le Mans - Race Report High Resolution
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It might not be entirely true for roads, but prototype racing has become increasingly sad ever since hybrids were introduced

Saying that hybrid cars suck is not very popular in 2017. But it’s okay, I’m not looking to become popular and I don’t want to succeed Donald Trump at the White House. But hey, it’s the truth. It might not be entirely true for roads, but prototype racing has become increasingly sad ever since hybrids were introduced. And the reason is simple. As cool and powerful as they are, these cars have too much tech and too many gadgets to race for 24 hours without major issues. Of course, gasoline race cars have issues and take damage too, but when a Le Mans event sees only two of five hybrid prototypes cross the finish line, you have a big problem.

2018 Green4U Panoz GT-EV High Resolution Exterior
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Keeping a tech-packed car reliable is massively expensive

And this brings me down to why racing has become boring and overregulated in recent decades. Keeping a tech-packed car reliable is massively expensive. You need all sorts of systems, computer, expensive parts, and a big staff in the pits and in front of the telemetry screen. This is what killed Formula One and it’s probably what’s going to kill the hybrid LMP1 class. One more year of bad luck and Toyota will probably give up. With no one else joining in, Porsche will also step down. It would be plain silly to race by themselves. And we’ll be back to an all-gasoline lineup and all that crap about how hybrid racing paves the way for good and affordable road-legal hybrids will go down the drain.

But hey, just to prove that I’m not such a grumpy fellow, I’m really excited about Green4U’s Panoz GT-EV project. It’s an all-electric race car that might — given everything works out according to plan — race at next year’s Le Mans. It looks innovative and cool, it seems smart, and it’s actually bringing something new to the race. If Panoz finds solutions for the reliability problem, we might have a game changer here. Okay, Okay, I admit it, I have a soft spot for Panoz and every car it has built since the early 1990s. Problem?

Porsche Is Playing Dumb

2018 Porsche 911 GT2 RS High Resolution Exterior Screenshots / Gameplay
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Good job on winning the 24 Hours of Le Mans again, but why are you refusing to acknowledge the new 911 GT2 RS

Hey man, good job on winning the 24 Hours of Le Mans again, but why are you refusing to acknowledge the new 911 GT2 RS? For heaven’s sake, the car was unveiled at some tech event a couple of weeks ago. And, now we get reports about output, pricing, and the fact that all 1,000 units are already sold out, and Porsche is mum on absolutely everything. This is by far the stupidest PR strategy ever! E-VER! What’s this? What’s the point? What is Porsche trying to achieve here? It’s like someone unveiled the GT2 RS without their approval. And let’s face it, it’s not the case.

Hey, you know what? It’s not me who wrote this article. It has my name on it, but it’s not me, okay? And I don’t watch racing and I don’t like whiskey. And I don’t want to comment on future produ... Oh, wait, this one isn’t that funny.

Cue that Nirvana song about being dumb and such...

About the author

Hey, I’m Pops, and these people here said I need to have a bio next to a picture like everyone else. I don’t like it one bit but heck, here I am. You’re probably wondering what my real name is, huh? Well it doesn’t matter and you shouldn’t care. People call me Pops and it’s been like that for a very long time. Heck, I think I’ve been the pops of the group since I was in my early 20s. Something to do with the fact that I rant a lot and I hate pretty much everything. "Hey look, here comes Pops to bitch some more," they used to say. They used to, get my drift? What a bunch of assholes! I never bitch, I have opinions. Sure, I kind of like hearing myself talk but hey, if you don’t like it, you know where the door is. I hate it when people don’t like what I have to say but still stick around.

Pops' Rants: Cadillac Sucks, Ferrari Is a Hypocrite, Civic Si Gets Turbo for Nothing
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Which brings me to why I’m here. You know what else I don’t like? This silly thing they now call an automotive industry. One of man’s greatest achievements has been pussified so every blockhead can drive a car while using smartphone apps, verifying his tire pressure, calling his wife, and checking whether his dog pooped on the neighbors lawn. Instrument panels have lights for every little thing that goes wrong under the hood and sends you to the dealer to change the oil. Change the oil yourself you lazy prick! Back in my day I did that in the garage, getting all sweaty and greasy. No car told me what to do and where to go. Buttons, swipes, screens, voice activation, I’m just sick of them. Wasting time and money on silly things instead of simply enjoying driving. I still do that you know. In my 1970 Plymouth Roadrunner. But not you. No, you’re too busy getting the latest apps. Ah screw it, you’re not gonna get it anyway. And I’m tired of this bio thing...

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