* yawning *

Remember how you were all excited by the upcoming BMW 8 Series and M8? Do you also remember my rant about why this big revival won’t be as exciting as BMW wants us to believe? Well, it turns out I was right. Yeah, yeah, I’m well aware that both the 8 Series and M8 are still under wraps, but BMW just unveiled the M8 GTE race car, which basically means that the Germans showcased more than 50-percent of the production model. And look, it’s pretty much a redesigned M6!

Come on, did you really believe that BMW was planning to revive the 8 Series nameplate for something completely new like it happened when it was first introduced in the late 1980s? Wasn’t the fact that BMW discontinued the 6 Series before the announcement a big enough hint? How can you be so naive? Well, if you’re still expecting the 8 Series to be a unique model in the lineup and not just a reheated 6 Series soup, keep reading to find out why you should stop being the world’s most optimistic BMW fanboy.

Continue reading for the full story.

The Styling Isn’t All that Great

BMW's M8 GTE Le Mans Competitor Previews Production M8 Model High Resolution Exterior
- image 731266
The next-generation 6 Series would have looked the same

What, were you under the impression that you’ll get that sleek concept car on the road? Nope! All you’re getting is a very toned down version of the M8 GTE race car. And that’s the M8 we’re talking about. The 8 Series will be even more boring. And just look at it. Haven’t you seen those headlamps and taillights somewhere else? Sure, the grille is big and juicy, but there’s really nothing new to see there. The new 6 Series Gran Coupe has a similar kidney grille, the only reason why the GTE’s looks so menacing is because there are no vertical slats.

Shape? Same thing. It’s a two-door coupe. It’s just as sleek as any other coupe out there. Okay, so maybe the rear glass is flatter and the quarter windows are a tad more aggressive, but I bet the next-generation 6 Series would have looked the same.

Same Size

BMW's M8 GTE Le Mans Competitor Previews Production M8 Model High Resolution Exterior
- image 731261
What's the point of competing with the S-Class if you're not making a slightly bigger coupe?

The M8 GTE is 4,980 mm long and 2,046 mm wide. That’s only 86 mm longer and 152 mm wider than the outgoing 6 Series. Not a lot bigger for a flagship luxury coupe. And given that the GTE has a few extra aero bits that alter its dimensions, there’s a good chance that the production model will be a tad smaller and basically identical to the old 6 Series.

Now, a well-informed BMW fan would tell that the first-gen 8 Series wasn’t bigger than the first-gen 6 Series it replaced in 1989. And I would agree, the numbers speak for themselves. But you see, we can’t compare 1989 with 2018. Supposedly BMW is reviving the 8 Series in order to save its ass in the big luxury coupe segment. Read that as in "it desperately needs a competitor for the Mercedes-Benz S-Class Coupe." And guess what, the Merc is a tad longer. So what’s the point of competing with the S-Class if you’re not making a slightly bigger, which could mean more comfortable, coupe?

Again, I’m not saying the 8 Series is a bad idea. I’m just saying that Munich could have easily redesigned the 6 Series into a better competitor for the S-Class Coupe. Marketing money is money well spent, but we need great cars and a bit less hype.

We might as well put a 2002 badge on the 1 Series and call it a day...

References

BMW M8 GTE

BMW's M8 GTE Le Mans Competitor Previews Production M8 Model High Resolution Exterior
- image 731266

Read our full review on the BMW M8 GTE.

BMW 8 Series

2019 BMW 8 Series High Resolution Exterior Exclusive Renderings Computer Renderings and Photoshop
- image 688342

Read our full speculative review on the next BMW 8 Series.

BMW M8

2019 BMW M8 Computer Renderings and Photoshop Exclusive Renderings Exterior
- image 718202

Read our full speculative review on the next BMW M8.

Hey, I’m Pops, and these people here said I need to have a bio next to a picture like everyone else. I don’t like it one bit but heck, here I am. You’re probably wondering what my real name is, huh? Well it doesn’t matter and you shouldn’t care. People call me Pops and it’s been like that for a very long time. Heck, I think I’ve been the pops of the group since I was in my early 20s. Something to do with the fact that I rant a lot and I hate pretty much everything. "Hey look, here comes Pops to bitch some more," they used to say. They used to, get my drift? What a bunch of assholes! I never bitch, I have opinions. Sure, I kind of like hearing myself talk but hey, if you don’t like it, you know where the door is. I hate it when people don’t like what I have to say but still stick around.

Pops' Rants: Cadillac Sucks, Ferrari Is a Hypocrite, Civic Si Gets Turbo for Nothing
- image 712265

Which brings me to why I’m here. You know what else I don’t like? This silly thing they now call an automotive industry. One of man’s greatest achievements has been pussified so every blockhead can drive a car while using smartphone apps, verifying his tire pressure, calling his wife, and checking whether his dog pooped on the neighbors lawn. Instrument panels have lights for every little thing that goes wrong under the hood and sends you to the dealer to change the oil. Change the oil yourself you lazy prick! Back in my day I did that in the garage, getting all sweaty and greasy. No car told me what to do and where to go. Buttons, swipes, screens, voice activation, I’m just sick of them. Wasting time and money on silly things instead of simply enjoying driving. I still do that you know. In my 1970 Plymouth Roadrunner. But not you. No, you’re too busy getting the latest apps. Ah screw it, you’re not gonna get it anyway. And I’m tired of this bio thing...

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