The BMW M5 is an abomination. There, I finally said it. If you’re a diehard fan, you can now have an aneurysm, take a deep breath, and continue reading. Or you can yell "you know nothing" and go complain on your crappy BMW forums. Because that’s what true BMW fans do. Either way, the M5 sucks, and I’m going to explain why because it’s way too hot outside to go for a bike ride.