• Pops’ Rants: The X-Class Sucks Because You’re a Snotty Elitist

Also in today’s rant: FCA = LOL

Another day, another carrot. Oh wait, scratch that, the folks over at Warner Brothers may not like it. Just like I don’t like the new Mercedes-Benz X-Class. But hey, unlike Warner Brothers, I can’t sue the Germans for launching the most boring pickup truck ever. But you should know that already, because I posted a big rant on the matter yesterday. I simply hate the design. I think it’s uninspired and lacks everything a Mercedes should have, minus the subdued — and incredibly booooring — styling. Both inside and out. And the worst part is that the truck it is based on, the Nissan Navara, looks way better.

But leaving the X-Class’ design aside for a bit, there’s one more thing that’s been bugging me. It doesn’t have to do as much with the X-Class as with the Navara and with people complaining that Mercedes used a Nissan-Renault Alliance platform for its first pickup truck. I keep seeing this as an argument as to why the X-Class is a big disappointment and I find it ridiculous. And I’m gonna explain why.

Continue reading for the full story.

You’re an Elitist and You Suck!

2018 Mercedes-Benz X-Class
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2015 Nissan NP300 Navara
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The Navara is the best thing that happened to Mercedes this year!

Listen, I get it that some of you are very nostalgic of the times when most automakers developed their cars in-house. That era brought many original cars on the market. But while some of them were outstanding, others were crap. And a lot of those crap cars almost drove makers out of business. Heck, even awesome cars almost drove brands out of business, with the best example being the BMW 507. But times have changed. Most carmakers no longer afford to develop their own products, while many of them don’t want to spend huge amounts of dough for every single nameplate they sell.

What’s more, sharing is good for the auto industry and allows us to have more choices than ever. It’s a bit sad that I have to explain this to you in 2017, but this is how the cookie crumbles. Automakers are forming alliances and are sharing platforms and engines. And most of them are reliable and make certain cars more affordable. I know they also help automakers make bigger profits, but hey, this is how capitalism works. If you don’t like it, you can always move to Cuba. Or North Korea.

Nissan is arguably one of the best enthusiast brand today.

This hate toward Mercedes began when the latest A- and B-Class were launched with Nissan-Renault engine. Europeans even made fun of the German using the 1.5-liter diesel that motivates the continents most affordable, Dacia. While cheap, Dacia products get the job done, and that puny diesel engine is both reliable and efficient. Now, the X-Class is being bashed for being a Nissan underneath, and it’s plain stupid. Because there’s nothing wrong with Nissan. The platforms coming from its alliance with Renault are rock solid, the engines are good, and the vehicles affordable, appealing, and deliver great bang for the buck. Nissan is arguably one of the best enthusiast brand today and Renault has launched increasingly better cars in recent years.

The only reason you hate them is because they’re not in the so-called premium class. Basically you’re problem with Nissan and Renault is that they don’t cost more than they should. Which is exactly what will happen with the X-Class. And I bet most of you haters drive a Nissan or a Renault on a daily basis anyway, at least outside the U.S. Stop feeling so butthurt, the Navara is the best thing that happened to Mercedes this year!

Jeep Is Worth More than FCA

2018 Jeep Grand Cherokee Trackhawk High Resolution Exterior AutoShow
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I swear I could end this rant with the three acronyms above. Come on, it’s funny as hell. I mean, it’s pretty obvious that Fiat Chrysler Automobiles isn’t doing very good, but when a sub-brand is doing better than the entire group, you now you have a really, really big problem. Or simply put, you suck!

While this is awesome for Jeep, it's absolutely pathetic for FCA.

Although it may sound a bit ludicrous at first, this report is actually pretty accurate, coming from a reputed Wall Street analyst with Morgan Stanley. He claims that a recent analysis concluded that Jeep’s value is 120 percent of FCA’s $23.6-million market capitalization. He also claims that Jeep could account for nearly half of FCA’s total vehicle sales by 2018, which is massive. Just think about it: FCA now owns no fewer than 15 brands, including Alfa Romeo, Chrysler, Dodge, Fiat, Jeep, Ram Trucks, Mopar, Maserati, and Magneti Marelli.

While this is awesome for Jeep, which would be better off as a stand-alone brand obviously, it’s absolutely pathetic for FCA, a group that survives thanks to one automaker only. Dodge and Chrysler are doing really bad, Fiat ain’t much outside Italy and very few emerging markets, Lancia is practicaly dead, while Alfa Romeo and Maserati need a few more years to matter. It’s a good thing that Jeep sales quadrupled in only seven year...

People are Dumb

2016 Land Rover Range Rover Evoque High Resolution Exterior
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It's been five years and we needed the actual design to step up and make things clear.

There are quite a few studies about how the world population’s IQ scores are decreasing, but we don’t really need scientist to tell us that. It’s enough to look at who’s running the U.S. from the White House right now and how Donald Trump was elected president. And how Hillary Clinton was his main opponent. And how we share the stupidest, click-bait articles on social media. Or how many of you believe that the Range Rover Evoque was designed by Victoria Beckham.

This thing about Beckham having designed the Evoque got so out of hand that the guy who actually penned the crossover had to come out to put an end to it. Really now, how can anyone believe that the wanna-be fashion designer had anything to say when Land Rover created the Evoque? Okay, I know that she had some sort of special edition for which she selected the paints and the upholstery, but that’s it! I also know she said that she "designed it" at the official unveiling in China five years ago, but there’s a very long way from there to believe that she designed the Evoque and not a few bits in a special-edition version.

But hey, it’s been five years and we needed the actual design to step up and make things clear. And I have a feeling that five years from now some people will still think that Victoria Beckham penned the Evoque. Because some people are dumber than a bag of door knobs.

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