Stories to tell, from Detroit and Madison, Wisconsin.

As you probably know, Madison, Wisconsin is the home of the University of Wisconsin.  It is a town that is dedicated to the concept of Toyota.  The city government is dedicated to mass transit.  To that end, they neither plow the streets in winter nor fill the resulting potholes.  Though periodically a Prius disappears in one, that’s the fault of the evil oil companies.  They made the price of cold mix too expensive.

So, it should come as no surprise that one of the leading legal lights of the community is buying a Smart.  Has it on order.  Can’t wait to get it.  Told me so, the day before I left to go to the North American International Auto Show in Detroit, home of the cars that I like – you know, big cars, Cadillacs, V-8s, trucks, the things that made America great.

But, this gent was hepped on the Smart.

Now, some of us think it’s not smart to buy a car we’ve never seen, much less driven.

Then there’s the skatekey part.  Between a Suburban and a Smart, I’m betting on the Suburban.  I really don’t care what Roger Penske says.   We all know that he cheats.  That’s why he invented acid dipped fenders for Donahue’s Camaro.

But, I felt I owed it to being open minded – which, incidentally, is not my natural state concerning either cars or politics – when I discovered that there was a Smart display at the North American International Auto Show.

It was right there on the main floor.
   
Yes, it was a small display.  Befitting a small car.
   
No. it did not have the moving mannequins of the Ferrari, Lamborghi, and Bentley exhibits. 
   
Yes, they’d actually let you sit in the car.
   
But, apparently, the Smart people were not so smart.
   
Right around the corner from their exhibit was another vehicle.  It was the same size and looked almost the same.
   
It was one of the Cobo Center clean-up vehicies.
   
The nice folks at Smart claim that they meet federal safety standards.
   
Perhaps that’s true.
   
But the construction of the car makes a garbage can sound like a bank vault.  It’s size  .  .  .  well, if the “vast right wing conspiracy” mandated it’s purchase, Hillary Clinton would be the first to have the thing declared illegal.
   
Or, at least, to have Obama drive one.
   
But, this gets me back to my self-interest.
   
You see, my wife’s boss intends to buy one of these things.  Can’t wait.  His wife’s all for it, too.  Probably ride with him in the thing, which excludes the most obvious motive for her support of the purchase.
   
My wife works hard.  She deserves job security.  Perhaps her boss could take up parasailing, instead.  Or mountain climbing.  Chain smoking cigarettes while drinking bourbon.  Something relatively safe.
   
But not driving a Smart.
   
He’s supposed to be too smart to drive a Smart.