This week finds a 2017 Chevrolet Cruze Hatchback sitting in my driveway, which is honestly exciting. Sure, it’s no supercar or attention-grabbing luxury barge, but it’s the successor to my wife’s car, a 2012 Chevy Cruze LT. Being slightly self-serving, the wife and I went for a drive to see how the new Cruze stacks up. Who knows, perhaps the new Cruze Hatch could satisfy her craving for a crossover with more room. Things were going well, but it didn’t take long to discover the new Cruze feels doggishly slow.