Buy a Porsche 911 instead

So BMW finally unveiled the M4 CS. Big whoop! I simply cannot get excited about this glorified M4. And here’s why.

While the M4 is a great sports coupe that’s capable of great things on both the road and the track, it’s still far from being the iconic M3 coupe we all love. There are many reasons for that, but I’ll keep it short and mention the one that’s bugging me the most: it’s too damn heavy. This thing weighs nearly 3,500 pounds, only some 50 pounds lighter than the lightest version of the Mercedes-Benz E-Class. Let me say that again: 50 pounds lighter than a four-door sedan that’s significantly longer.

So the M4 CS is a tad lighter (but not light enough for BMW to add the "L" for "lightweight" to the "CS" badge), the engine boasts an extra 35 horsepower, and it’s a tenth-second quicker to 60 mph. Let’s say it’s not that bad given how difficult it is to make performance cars increasingly quicker nowadays, but for all of the above, you have to pay the equivalent of an M4 and a half. So 35 horsepower, a tenth-second, a carbon splitter, and a decklid spoiler for an extra $30,000+ over the base price of an M4.

How is this possible? What kind of deal is this?

Keep reading for the full story.

Because Suckers with Fat Wallets

Oh, wait, a lot of people are actually willing to pay the premium because it’s a limited-edition, it has the CS heritage and blah blah blah... Well, this is why BMW will never make an M4 that’s as cool as the original M3 Coupe. Because suckers with fat wallets have no problem throwing money at glorified M4s.

And it’s that much disappointing when you realize how many actual sports cars you can buy for around $100,000. The Porsche 911 Carrera starts from $91,100 and for $105,100 you can get the Carrera S, which is only two tenths slower. The Alfa Romeo 4C is only $55,900. Granted, you can’t fit five people in there, but it weights less than 2,500 pounds and it’s freakin’ awesome. Or you can spend a little over $100,000 for the 550-horsepower version of the Jaguar F-Type. It’s supercharged, it has a V-8 engine, and if you can’t handle a bit of drama, it has an all-wheel-drive system as standard. And my favorite of them all, $100,000 buys you any Caterham Seven in production right now.

Oh, not to mention that the Dodge Challenger SRT Demon will most likely cost less than $100,000. It’s probably a lot heavier than the M4 CS, but with a 0-to-60 mph sprint of 2.3 seconds and a quarter-mile run in under 10 seconds, I’m more than happy to ignore the curb weight figure on the spec sheet.

Damn it, I can’t do it. The Demon tips the scales at nearly 4,300 pounds. Heavy stuff, but ridiculously awesome.

P.S.: The M4 CS still sucks; deal with it!

Read our full review on the 2018 BMW M4 CS here.

Hey, I’m Pops, and these people here said I need to have a bio next to a picture like everyone else. I don’t like it one bit but heck, here I am. You’re probably wondering what my real name is, huh? Well it doesn’t matter and you shouldn’t care. People call me Pops and it’s been like that for a very long time. Heck, I think I’ve been the pops of the group since I was in my early 20s. Something to do with the fact that I rant a lot and I hate pretty much everything. "Hey look, here comes Pops to bitch some more," they used to say. They used to, get my drift? What a bunch of assholes! I never bitch, I have opinions. Sure, I kind of like hearing myself talk but hey, if you don’t like it, you know where the door is. I hate it when people don’t like what I have to say but still stick around.

Pops' Rants: Cadillac Sucks, Ferrari Is a Hypocrite, Civic Si Gets Turbo for Nothing
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Which brings me to why I’m here. You know what else I don’t like? This silly thing they now call an automotive industry. One of man’s greatest achievements has been pussified so every blockhead can drive a car while using smartphone apps, verifying his tire pressure, calling his wife, and checking whether his dog pooped on the neighbors lawn. Instrument panels have lights for every little thing that goes wrong under the hood and sends you to the dealer to change the oil. Change the oil yourself you lazy prick! Back in my day I did that in the garage, getting all sweaty and greasy. No car told me what to do and where to go. Buttons, swipes, screens, voice activation, I’m just sick of them. Wasting time and money on silly things instead of simply enjoying driving. I still do that you know. In my 1970 Plymouth Roadrunner. But not you. No, you’re too busy getting the latest apps. Ah screw it, you’re not gonna get it anyway. And I’m tired of this bio thing...

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