A new study now confirms what every newly divorced, middle-aged balding guy already knows: women are turned on by exotic cars. British insurer Hiscox (insert your joke here) commissioned a study of 40 men and women. All were subjected to the sounds of a Maserati->ke51, Lamborghini->ke44 and Ferrari->ke252, and then were measured for the amount of testosterone in their saliva. The results showed that the women had elevated levels after hearing each of the exotics (i.e. the Italian accents made them feel all sexy-like.)

On the other hand, for all of you think a great personality can compensate for a more economical ride, you better be pretty funny. When the group listened to the sounds of a Volkswagen Polo->ke322, everyone’s testosterone level went down.

So if your Friday nights are kinda lonely, skip the Hair Club for Men and make your way to the nearest Italian car dealership.

More dating help after the jump.

The Maserati scored the highest for women. So if you’re date is going south, just use this recording.

Not to be sexist, the highest score for men was the Lamborghini. So women should use this for their ringtone.