What if Rolls-Royce Had a Car in Every Conceivable Segment?
Every niche and every segment gets Rolled onby Jonathan Lopez, on
For years and years, Rolls-Royce never really needed to branch out or experiment all that much. And why would it? With a long resumé of creating some of the most-respected high-end luxury sedans in the world, anything else would seem out of place. Welp, we’re heading into 2019 now, and things are getting kinda weird - Lamborghini made an SUV, the world’s quickest passenger car to 60 mph is an EV, and Apple might build a self-driving transportation pod. With that in mind, the old guard might need to step out of its comfort zone, as evidenced by efforts like the Rolls-Royce Cullinan. But what if Rolls-Royce really went off the deep end? To find out, Compare the Market drew up a set of renderings that placed the Spirit of Ecstasy in a variety of unexpected places.
The Rolls-Royce 4x4
The idea of driving a luxury-laden cabin space across the muck and grime of the great outdoors is as popular as ever, and thus, the concept of a true Rolls-Royce 4x4 could very well (ahem) gain some traction. This particular rendering looks to draw heavily from one of the most trusted names in off-roading to ever hit terra firma, namely the Jeep Wrangler.
The boxy shape, huge tires, high-rise fenders, tow hooks, and protective underbody are all on point here, but inside, we’d expect to find only the very finest materials and amenities.
The outside also carries some unique bits, like Rolls-Royce’s signature polished grille and headlight housings from the Ghost. Just one thing - careful with the champagne when you go to uncork it. It might have been shaken up on those articulating bumps and ruts.
The Rolls-Royce Crossover
It’s impossible to escape it - crossovers are everywhere, and it looks like they aren’t going away any time soon. Might as well get in on the trend while it lasts, no?
While vaguely similar to the Rolls-Royce Cullinan, the Rolls-Royce Crossover is a bit smaller, a bit more maneuverable, and bit more under the radar.
That’s all relative, of course - this is still a Rolls-Royce we’re talking about here, and it looks the part with a two-tone grey-and blue paint job, square fascia, and low-slung roofline. This thing looks like the right Roller to take for a night out in the town, especially if the streets leading up to that secret club don’t provide all that much wiggle room. Or, alternatively, just take it out for a quick jaunt down to the shops, and don’t worry about it if you gotta pack in more than you expected.
The Rolls-Royce Classic Sports Car
So this one’s a little closer to what we’d expect from Rolls-Royce, although it does have a decidedly old school performance flavor that strikes us as a bit odd.
The proportions look like they come from something like a Jaguar E-Type, while the blocky styling maintains the sort of luxurious panache typically associated with a Spirit of Ecstasy badge on the nose.
Speaking of which, we could definitely see this particular roller stuffed with a V-12 powerplant with enough oomph to waft you all the way to triple digits in the blink of an eye. That is, if you can find any sort of traction from those skinny white-walled tires in back. Then, after you get your speed fix, drop the canvas top and enjoy the unlimited headroom. Sounds pleasant.
The Rolls-Royce Minivan
Even the kids are getting a taste of the Rolls life in this one. We’re imagining something massive, with enough interior room to make any and all complaints of “he’s on my side” laughable. We’re also imagining entire standalone entertainment systems for each individual seat, plus super fast Wi-Fi connections for every device imaginable and charge ports galore.
Ditch the champagne chiller in this particular Rolls-Royce, and instead replace it with an automatic juice box dispenser serving up freshly squeezed concoctions perfectly tailored to the tastes of the passengers.
We’re also quite positive the chauffeur will appreciate the massage function in front while ferrying the brood to and fro between private school, tutors, fencing practice, and horseback riding.
The Rolls-Royce Semi-Trailer Truck
When you’re pulling freight around the country for hours on end, sleeping in your cab and showering at truck stops, it’s important to live your best wherever possible - and that’s where the Rolls-Royce Semi-Trailer Truck comes in.
Fine wood inlays, aluminum trim, and sumptuous leather upholstery keep you comfortable on the move, while the well-appointed sleeping area will let you rest your weary head while silencing the noisy highway just outside.
The iconic Rolls-Royce fascia lets others on the road know all about your good taste, while over 2,000 pound-feet of torque keeps you moving no matter what’s in back. Finally, advanced autonomous drive systems take over when you need to rest but still make the delivery on time. As for how anyone on a truck driver’s salary could afford such a machine, well, that’s up to your imagination.
The Rolls-Royce Pickup Truck
Before you rampage at this one as yet another absurd rendering that will never ever happen, remember that Mercedes-Benz has already released the X-Class, a legit luxury pickup that seeks to bring German opulence to a historically utilitarian segment. Then there’s the vast plethora of high-end plush trucks out there looking to do exactly the same thing, but with a resumé of proven utility to back it.
With all that in mind, a Rolls-Royce pickup doesn’t really seem all that far-fetched, to be honest.
If the Brits did green light a project like this, we’d expect it to come equipped with a crew cab seating layout with a sizable rear bench and rear-hinged suicide doors for easier ingress and egress. Nothing but the finest materials would be found in the cabin, while the signature Roller exterior fascia would come complemented by some tough underbody protection plates. Further off-roader cues would include pumped-up suspension bits, a tall ride height, and a fresh set of knobby tires on five-spoke alloy wheels. Think of it as luxury apartment that can climb mountains and haul excess antique furniture.
The Rolls-Royce Hatchback
Glamorous, opulent, flashy, and practical? That’s the combo you get with this little five-door. Think of it as Rolls-Royce’s answer to the Mercedes-Benz A-Class and BMW 1 Series, just, you know, better.
While small and easy to park on the outside (nice two-tone paint, by the way), the Rolls-Royce hatch should also be spacious and comfortable on the inside, once again offering rear-hinged doors for better access.
If you like to drive yourself around the city, but don’t want to deal with the hassle of maneuvering a two-ton land yacht through traffic, then this might be the choice for you. You could even consider it to be like a micro-sized Cullinan…
The Rolls-Royce Hover Car
Now this looks interesting. Nothing says “riding on a cloud” more than a thick plume of ionized gas, which we assume to be the powertrain of choice for this futuristic luxury barge. No need for fancy suspension tuning either - just float right on over whatever happens to be in your way. And talk about quiet, too.
Robotic navigation and autonomous driving are a must, with advanced AI also handling all your scheduling and appointments on the backend.
If we could pick any one of the Rollers presented here, this would be the one. And why not? After all, Rolls-Royce does boast a rather prominent position in the aerospace industry…
Bonus - The Rolls-Royce Batmobile
We all knew Bruce Wayne was a baller, but now he’s got the ride to prove it. Not that the original Batmobile wasn’t impressive - it’s just now Batman can hit the town after serving up a thick slab of Justice all across Gotham City.
Read our full review on the 2019 Rolls-Royce Cullinan.
Source: Compare the Market