What Would Santa Drive?
This just in! With Christmas day only a few hours away, Santa’s sleigh just got stolen and Mr.Claus developed a sudden fear of flying. Billions of people around the world are in danger of not getting their Christmas presents this year!
Okay, I’m kidding, but let’s imagine what Santa would do if he couldn’t travel the world in his reindeer-powered sleigh. He’d probably have to drive, and assuming he doesn’t already own a vehicle (he obviously wouldn’t need one with the flying sleigh usually at his disposal), he would need to find the proper means of transportation on land.
So what would Mr.Claus drive?
Given he hauls a lot of stuff, cargo space is definitely a priority. His vehicle of choice should also have to come with all-wheel drive, as Santa encounters all sorts of terrains during his journey around the world. Finally, it should also be fast because, as you may know, Santa needs to get the job done in only 24 hours.
Granted, none of the vehicles available today would be up for such a mission, but should the reindeer go on strike on Christmas or should Santa decide that the open-roof sleigh gets way too chilly, he would need a helping hand in finding the best car to travel around the around. And TopSpeed is here to help!
Keep reading for the full story.
Very few vehicles bring together go-anywhere capabilities, large amounts of cargo room, horsepower and speed like the G63 AMG 6x6. This awesome truck would not only enable Santa to get out of the North Pole, but also tackle the most difficult environments out there. It comes with six wheels, five locking differentials, three solid axles, and a turbocharged V-8 that puts 544 horsepower and 560 pound-feet of twist to the ground. Although it tips the scales at more than 8,300 pounds, it needs only 7.8 seconds to hit 60 mph and its top speed is rated at 100 mph. It’s ridiculously fast for a six-wheeled monster! The only issue here is that I’ve yet to see any red examples out there, but I’m sure Mercedes would be more than happy to build a bespoke version for good old Santa.
The G63 AMG 6x6 may be the ultimate off-road truck, but the Jeep Wrangler Unlimited could also get the job done. And, unlike the Merc, it comes with a removable roof to provide Santa with a sleigh-like experience. The heated driver seat should keep him warm and comfortable. The 3.6-liter Pentastar V-6 is powerful enough to make the Wrangler go fast on smoother surfaces, while the Unlimited body style provides plenty of room for Santa’s big bag of gifts.
Should Santa prefer a lighter, more efficient truck to the bonkers G63 AMG 6x6, he could go with the Ram 1500 EcoDiesel. Though it’s not as capable as a Wrangler on rough terrain, the Ram boasts an attractive combination of cargo room and hauling capacity. The 3.0-liter V-6 not only cranks out an impressive 420 pound-feet of torque that can tow up to 7,950 pounds, but also returns close to 30 mpg. I’m sure Santa wouldn’t want to be seen driving a gas-guzzler. Also, Mr.Claus might find the Ram’s smooth coil-spring suspension more comfortable compared to other trucks, which will come in handy with so many fragile items in the cargo bed.
I find it difficult to picture Santa Clause as a gearhead, but given he has delivered so many automotive-related toys over the years, he must be somewhat of a car guy. Granted, the Challenger Hellcat would be an impulse buy, but I couldn’t blame Santa for wanting to replace his reindeer with 707 supercharged horses. Heck, the Hellcat is a muscle car we should all drive at least once in our life, so why shouldn’t Santa do the same? Sure, there’s not much room inside and Santa would have to make quite a few stops at the gas station to get the job done, but the Hellcat has the advantage of being one of the quickest and most powerful cars in production right now. One major downside is that the Challenger can wake up an entire neighborhood with its massive powerplant, but I’m sure the kids would approve.
The Hellcat may be cool and all, but given the fact that Santa is known for living in communion with nature in Lapland, he might want a vehicle that doesn’t emit carbon dioxide. The elves and the reindeer are sensitive creatures, you know? While there are a few all-electric options out there, very few are also fast and have good mileage on top of being green. The Tesla Model S is the first that comes to mind, but since the sedan doesn’t offer much space, the new Model X SUV is the better proposition here. This way Santa will still have plenty of room for presents while traveling the world without harming the environment. Also, because it doesn’t have a conventional engine, the Model X will allow Santa to sneak unnoticed into everyone’s driveway.
Granted, the 1965 Mustang Convertible wouldn’t be much of a Christmas hauler, but it’s the right vehicle if Santa would suddenly decide he wants to retire and move to California. Winters are freezing and summers are chilly at the North Pole, and I would definitely understand if Santa would consider moving. Truth be told, I don’t even get why Mr.Claus has to live at the North Pole anyway. He could start delivering presents from California too and he would be able to spend the rest of the year cruising in a red Mustang convertible. Yeah, I know, Santa’s story wouldn’t be the same without the North Pole and all the snow, so this really isn’t an option. Oh well, I guess delivering presents in a first-gen Mustang could be fun too, as long as them Camaro radicals don’t wake up in the middle of the night.
Well, this wraps up my list of vehicles Santa could use instead of a sleigh, but feel free to join the conversation and add your own.