Off Topic – Watch A Pair of Porta-a-Johns Take Flight
Okay, we know it’s off-topic, but when the whole TopSpeed headquarters hits the floor laughing at a video, we can’t help but share it with our loyal readers. In this case, we’re talking about a video of two porta-a-johns take flight spraying their sweet, sweet mist into the air to grace the faces of those watching from the ground below.
The situation took place in the Denver Metro area, and despite the somewhat clear skies, the Gods decided to unleash what we can only describe as gale-force winds. Okay, maybe they weren’t that bad, but for a relatively clear day with no sign of a storm in sight, the wind kicked up enough to topple a massive tent and throw this pair of porta-thrones about like a couple pieces of paper. They bounce off the rear end of one SUV, then transcend into the heavens, blowing their lovely blue mist as if they were a Space X rocket venting before takeoff.
According to KTBS news agency in Denver, there was – fortunately – nobody in either toilet when the took flight, and nobody on the ground was hurt, either. That’s awesome and all, but there were certainly a lot of people who needed one hell of a shower and will probably be scared of ever entering one of these grey boxes of death ever again. Well, at least it wasn’t as bad as it could be, right?
Dummy Destroys a Car Wash Because They Can’t Follow Simple Directions
Going to an automated car wash should be about the easiest thing you have to do in life. It’s easy – you either pull up to a predetermined location, put the car in neutral, and let it do its thing or you pull up to a certain spot and remain there while the machine works around you. It’s not rocket science and it doesn’t take a fifth-grade education. But, not all people live in the bright row of the crayon box as you’ll see from this video below.
Simple catastrophe could have been prevented had the driver of this car just followed the instructions. Instead, they decided to drive forward and backward through the car wash, eventually getting hooked on the top brush. Instead of just driving out of the wash as common sense (hopefully) told them to do, they decided to back up. In doing so, the car pulled on that top brush and the machine came right down, crushing the back of the car.
Now, unless this was a mobster with someone in the truck, it’s unlikely that anyone was hurt as the machine hit the very rear of the car. But, this could have turned out much worse than it really was. The whole time watching the video my eyes couldn’t ignore that flashing light that says “stop” so it leads us to wonder just what the driver was thinking. The video is rather short and there’s no telling what happens after the machine crushes the car, but you can be sure there was an interesting conversation between the owner and driver. Check out this bit of craziness below and let us know what you think!
Drunk Concert Goer Gets Her Head Stuck in the Most Unbelievable Place
A young woman in Minnesota got her head stuck inside an exhaust tip, forcing the local fire department to cut the tailpipe off just to get her out of the strange predicament. The ordeal — if you can even call it that — took place at the Winstock Country Music Festival
Details are still unclear on how the girl’s head ended up inside the exhaust of a first-generation Chevrolet Silverado or why the girl was even in the vicinity of the truck, to begin with. According to reports, the young lady was reportedly intoxicated when the incident occurred, putting a lot of questions about the whole thing into perspective. Fortunately for her, the Winsted Fire Department was called in to help extract her head out of the exhaust pipe. A power saw was reportedly used in cutting the tailpipe, which led to the girl getting her head out of the exhaust pipe.
The McLeod County Sherriff’s Department also confirmed that the young lady was cited for underage drinking and was escorted out of the concert grounds once her head was removed from the exhaust pipe. To make this story even more unbelievable than it already is, the fire chief spoke to local media outlets and said that he had heard that it was the second time the young woman put her head in the tailpipe during the event. Apparently, she was able to get out the first time, which probably led to her thinking that she could do it again.
We had no plans to reveal the identity of the girl, but it wouldn’t have mattered anyway. She did it herself when she posted on Facebook, admitting that she was “the tailpipe girl.”
Make good choices, young lady. Make good choices.
Video of the Day: Best Supercar Show Off Fail Compilation
It seems like people don’t understand that there’s a time and place to play and that the road isn’t it. Sure, Mustang drivers come to mind (I know, it’s getting old, right?) but in reality, we see just as many supercar owners failing miserably as they try to showboat their precious, powerful cars. It’s nice to be wealthy, I’m sure, but apparently, it isn’t enough to be seen in your cool car, you have to show off what it can do. Well, in this video there’s a big handful of idiots who probably knew more about the money they spent than how to drive what they bought. And, it shows. For the record, not all of the cars shown here are “supercars,” but each one of them was served a life-sized piece of karma that will certainly hit the wallet, be it at the repair shop, with the insurance company, or in court after being sued or arrested for reckless endangerment. Anyway, the video is below. Check it out and let us know what you think!
Video of the Day: Idiots Overtaking Cars at the Worst Possible Moment
Here in the States, we don’t need to overtake other drivers via an oncoming lane as we have a huge network of highways. But it’s not like that in some places of the world, where main routes of long-distance transportation are more like country roads here – long, two-lane roads with bi-directional traffic. Naturally, you have to overtake someone from time to time but in busier areas of the road it happens a lot more often, and there’s always a turd in the punch bowl. In other words, there’s always some idiot that’s in so much of a rush; they can’t be bothered with waiting for a safe time to pass. That’s what this video of the day is all about – idiots who make bad decisions at the worst times. Not all idiots in this video cause car accidents but some do. The important thing to take away from this: Don’t be a retard and wait for a safe time to pass.
Some fails are funny and others; well, you just have to wonder how these people have managed to live as long as they have to end up in this video. Either way, give it a watch. There’s some good laughs here!
Oh, and by the way, if you must pull a car for whatever reason, make sure you don’t tie your pull strap a plastic bumper or the front fender!
Kansas Man Arrested Trying to Make Sweet Sweet Love to a Car
There’s something to be said about getting drunk and ending up in bed with a random stranger. It happens quite frequently. But, to get drunk and have sex with a car? Seems a little outrageous, right? Be that as it may, it actually happened just a few days ago. The police department of Newton, Kansas received a call about a naked man lying under a car. Upon arrival, the 24-year-old man wasn’t only naked but was attempting to have sex with the car. According to Lt. Scott Powell of the aforementioned police department, the man “was attempting to stick his penis into the tailpipe of the vehicle.”
To make matters even worse.. or ahem.. stranger, the man wouldn’t even respond to officers. He was apparently high on some kind of drugs, and he was drunk too. Drunk to the point that his blood alcohol level was registered at .35. The man was practically incoherent. In the end, officers on the scene tasered him and took him to the emergency room. It should also be noted that the man had a head injury that was apparently inflicted prior to his rather off interaction with police that night. In the end, the man will likely be charged with lewd and lascivious behavior which is a misdemeanor in the state of Kansas.
So that begs the question: How drunk is too drunk and how far will you go to get your jollies off in an inebriated state?
Video of the Day: More Idiots Caught on Dash Cam Because We Can’t Get Enough
So many accidents are avoidable and yet there’s a near-endless supply of new videos on Youtube. This one is from January of 2018 and has some footage we haven’t seen yet. Go ahead and check it out, then talk all the smack you want in the comments section below.
75-Year-Old Man Faces 5 Years, $10,000 Fine for Throwing Nails in the Road
Throwing trash from your car to the road is never a good idea because it’s disgusting, but throwing nails in the road to punish speeding drivers? That’s a whole new level of lunacy. A 75-year-old man from Minnesota is finding that out the hard way after getting arrested for his self-righteous act of vigilantism. The man, identified as Joseph Kurimay, now faces five years in prison to go with a fine of $10,000.
The "F1" License Plate is Back in The News, Now Comes With $20 Million Price Tag
The “F1” license plate has had an interesting life. It’s been around for 114 years where it was first registered to a 15-horsepower Panhard Levassor back in 1904. The Essex City Council owned the license plate until 2008, when, after 104 years, it was sold to Afzal Kahn of Kahn Design Ltd for a staggering £375,000, which converted to around $880,000 at that time. Kahn has owned the plate for the last ten years, but now it seems that he’s ready to part with it, provided that someone is willing to meet his asking price of…$20 million.
Pops’ Rants: Lazy Car Design Auto Show Edition
Oh wow, the 2018 Geneva Motor Show was so much fun. So many concept cars that won’t make it into production, so many supercars that we can’t buy. Scratch that, and we’re left with the Toyota Aygo, Peugeot 508, Volvo V60, Toyota Yaris, and some special-edition models that aren’t all that special. Oh wait, this year’s show was also about quite a few good examples of laziness in the design department. Nissan takes the cake with two different cars, but Mercedes-Benz also made the list with its latest performance car.
Real or Fake: Human Slingshot
There’s something to be a said for a stuntman that signs off on a stunt like this. Either he’s gone completely mental or he was crazy from the beginning. Regardless, sitting in a human slingshot and allowing someone catapult you from one building to another in Dubai isn’t the kind of thing any of us would want to do, even if the stunt somehow turned successful. Unfortunately for this stuntman, that wasn’t the case. Or was it?
London Police Seize a Ferrari 458 Aperta Over Lack of Insurance
There’s nothing fun about seeing a supercar getting loaded onto a tow truck. It’s even less fun when the said supercar is yours. A man in the U.K. found that out the hard way when his Ferrari 458 Special Aperta was seized and towed away in London because the car wasn’t insured. The incident predictably caused a commotion as stunned onlookers captured video of the limited edition Ferrari getting whisked away to God-knows-where.
Epic Life Hack - German Man Uses Smartcars to Stop People From Parking Near His Driveway
If you’ve ever heard of the expression “First World problems,” you’ll be thinking a lot about it once you’re done with this doozy of a story. A German man who lives in the affluent neighborhood of Oberkassel in Germany had a problem with people parking too close to his driveway. To address that problem, he decided to buy a pair of smart ForTwos and parked them on either side of the driveway. It’s probably one of the most expensive ways to mark your territory, but the man did it anyway because he could.
According to German news site RP Online the ForTwos have been on guard duty for three years now. The man’s neighbors even say that two city cars have left their spots only once since they set up shop there back in 2015, presumably to renew their registration or get serviced for being idle too long.
As for the man’s reasons? Apparently, his problem wasn’t about having his driveway blocked by cars or having cars parked (legally) on either side of his driveway. He just wants the entire space for himself because he wanted as much room to comfortably enter and leave his driveway with what neighbors say is an SUV. That’s it. That’s his reason.
To make this story more interesting, his ForTwo bookend strategy is reportedly legal under Dusseldorf’s traffic laws. According to the city’s Traffic Management Office, the ForTwos can stay parked where they are as long as they can be driven away if needed.
It’s hard to say if the man is crazy or a genius for marking his own territory this way. Perhaps it’s even a combination of both. Either way, this is one instance where the expression “First World problems” definitely applies.
Man Charged With DUI After Ordering Burrito At Bank
Look, we’ve all been there. It can happen without warning. Maybe you’re coming home late after a night at the bars, or maybe you’re just sitting around socializing with friends, or possibly you’re camped out on the couch enjoying some video games, when bam – the munchies strike. But this is no ordinary hunger. This is the sort of craving that can only be satisfied by the greasy all-American institution of fast food. Totally understandable, right? Unfortunately for one 28-year-old Florida man, the lust for delicious mass-produced meals ended up costing him a bit more than the anticipated $3.19 advertised price for a Burrito Supreme.
You see, rather than enlisting the help of a sober buddy or a ride-hailing service, the man in question allegedly decided to climb behind the wheel and set out in search of culinary satisfaction while under the influence of powerful narcotics. The hunt landed him somewhere a bit unexpected – the parking lot of a local Bank of America. According to an official police document published by The Smoking Gun, the Hernando County Sheriff was called to investigate a suspected impaired driver. The document states that the bank manager “advised there was a white male operating a blue Hyundai sedan to be unconscious in the bank’s drive-thru lane.” The manager then stated he “made contact with the driver after beating on the window for ’some time’ before the driver later woke up. Upon waking up, the driver asked [the bank manager] for a burrito before driving away after being informed he was not at Taco Bell.”
When police arrived, they found the defendant parked with the engine still running. Upon speaking with him, the police observed “delayed reaction to questions as well as slowed movements of his extremities.” The driver also made several statements that were “differing from reality such as having his air conditioning running in the car when the heat was on while the temperature outside was in the mid-40s.” Police then performed a field sobriety test and eventually arrested the driver, confiscating “a quantity of Oxycodone and Alprazolam (Xanax) found on the defendant’s person for which he has a prescription.”
Next time, just get delivery.
Bait & Switch: Tesla Swaps Model 3 Headliner from Alcantara to Textile
Tesla has found itself in the middle of a new controversy, though the issue has nothing to do with its autonomous driving technology going awry. The issue at hand revolves around the Model 3’s headliner and the material that’s being used on it. Apparently, some owners who have taken delivery of their Model 3’s were surprised to see that the headliner in their cars was covered by weaved textile as opposed to Alcantara.