Ontario Witnesses The Squiddening
Motorcycle Mob At Their Jackassery Bestby TJ Hinton, on
A weekend ago, Ontario drivers were honored to be treated to what was surely a dazzling display of rider skill and solidarity. (/sarcasm off) Drivers on a half-dozen highways and parkways bore witness to an incredible bit of jackassery as a mob of sportbike riders took over their patch of the superslab. We hear about this kind of juvenile behavior with alarming frequency in the States, but apparently the disease has spread across our Northern border. The group in question used their own bodies and motorcycles as traffic-control devices (never an indication of greater than double-digit intelligence) to block traffic whilst engaging in wheelies, burnouts and other general douchebaggery.
Continue reading for more on the mob event.
What’s The Buzz?
As these squids progressed through the city, traffic was heavily impacted and inconvenienced, which apparently was the whole point of the exercise. You see, apparently there is a segment of the sportbike community who, based on their lack of life experience due to their youth and/or mental midgetry, thinks that it’s acceptable to lump all cage drivers together as deserving of punishment due to distracted driving, lack of situational awareness and such like from a small percentage of drivers. There’s a word for that: bigotry.
While I don’t disagree that careless cagers are a danger to riders, I submit that anyone who doesn’t realize and accept that they are taking their lives in their hands just by throwing their legs over a bike is, in fact, a special kind of stupid. I would further point out that these assclowns put themselves and their riding buddies at vastly greater risk with this stunt than they will ever face individually in the course of a regular commute, but once the mob mentality takes hold, it seems that even ordinarily decent people lose their damned minds.
Maybe it’s the assumption of a certain anonymity because their faces are hidden behind full-face brain-buckets, I don’t know; but these same geniuses posted their own videos of the event on social media for all to see, including the Five-O. Hopefully it’s enough to get them caught up and charged before they get somebody killed. I’m surprised there were no (reported) road rage incidents to come out of this, and I gotta say the restraint of the drivers stuck behind this meeting of brain-trust is commendable.
The local constabulary has come out to ask these smacktards to turn themselves in. Seriously folks, you can’t write comedy like that! What’s next? "Stop!, or I’ll say stop again?" Laughable at best, but if there are any drivers out there with video or license plate numbers of the offenders, please contact the OPP at 416-317-8250, and throw these menaces under the back wheels of the legal bus.